The Best (And Most Underrated) Christmas Albums In The History Of The Universe
(Or at least, in the history of American popular music)
This post was first published in Trust Me, I’m a Scientist on December 5, 2011.
Every culture that has developed far enough from the equator to take the idea of “four seasons” seriously, has developed some kind of festival of lights. In America, perhaps moreso than anywhere else, we’ve succeeded at melting some of the best aspects of the world’s traditions into an amalgamation of winter holidays that lighten what would otherwise be some of the darkest months of the year.
Of all of the celebrations that make up the American winter holidays, Christmas has perhaps blended together more cultural influences than any other, and the music on this list reflects that. These are recordings that owe their heritage to the people of a dozen cultures, from West Africa to West Germany, from Russia to the Caribbean, from Italy to Israel.
Even if you don’t celebrate the holiday, one thing is certain: There is no escaping it. It is an absolutely pervasive part of the country’s culture, for the religious and for the purely secular alike. One way or another, you’re going to be hearing plenty of Christmas music this year. So you may as well listen to some incredible Christmas music you can find.
The first record on this list isn’t strictly a Christmas album—it’s three albums put together. The first of these Three Suites however, and the cornerstone of this record, is Ellington’s brilliant arrangement of the Tchiakovsky Christmas ballet, The Nutcracker.
When I first heard his rendition of the “Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy” (appropriately retitled “Sugar Rum Cherry”) I was slack-jawed with admiration. Equally startling is “Arabesque Cookie”, Ellington’s re-arrangement of “Arabian Dance”, as well as, well, the whole rest of the album.
Is this album really underrated? Not by anyone who’s heard it. The problem is that too few people even know it exists. The positive side of that is that every year I find new people to introduce to this record who are absolutely floored by it. And that’s always good for a warm fuzzy holiday feeling.
James Brown – James Brown’s Funky Christmas
Many otherwise fantastic pop artists have tried and failed miserably at creating a compelling Christmas album.
This is sad because there’s really just one key ingredient in making a passably worthwhile Christmas album: authenticity.
So with that in mind, Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce James Brown, a man who never had an inauthentic bone in his body. He wears that Santa hat like he means it.
This is largely an excellent album, made by Brown at the height of his powers. He commits himself to every line he screams, sings, belts, or otherwise ululates on Funky Christmas. This makes it easy to forgive him on those occasional moments in which flubs his way through some of the simple monologues on this recording. (The man is a musician after all, not a public speaker.)
If you’re not a fan of James Brown, don’t expect to be a fan of this album. But for the already-converted, even reading through the track listing of this album can be an endlessly satisfying experience. Yes, the songs titled “Santa Claus, Go Straight To The Ghetto”, and “Go Power At Christmas Time” are every bit as good as you’re hoping them to be.
Note: Do not mistake the classic Funky Christmas for Brown’s 1999 steaming pile of unintentional kitsch, The Merry Christmas Album. That album, although potentially entertaining, is only “good” in the way that the collected works of The Shaggs or Wesley Willis are good.
Vince Guaraldi – A Charlie Brown Christmas
Instrumental music is linked to memory like scent. There’s not much I feel I need to say about A Charlie Brown Christmas, other than that it’s a tour de force by one of the most underrated pianists of the 20th century.
Guaraldi was an unpretentious musician, and an innovator in voicing and rhythm. He developed a style and cadence on his instrument that was unmistakably his, and on this record, his playing is broadly accessible and sophisticated at once.
If you don’t own it already, don’t hesitate in picking this one up. Original tunes like “Christmas is Coming” and “Skating” will still sound fresh, even to ears that grew up around this music. For those who’ve admired it, forgotten it, or never experienced it in full, A Charlie Brown Christmas is a must-listen.
Perhaps this albums was a somewhat underrated and under acknowledged when we first published this list in 2011. In more recent years it has increasingly gotten its due, and seems to be featured more and more often in stores, in playlists and on radio. But even if you’ve heard some of the main cuts a thousand times by now, the complete album is full of miniature masterpieces worth playing on repeat.
Honorable Mentions:
Various Artists – A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector
This one is a giant throbbing mass of glittering girl-group goodness. This album tops the list for some, and we’d be remiss not to mention it here. Definitely worth a listen for any fan 60s pop.
Low’s unexpected Christmas album is a mix of traditional tunes and original songs performed at a dirge-like, nearly glacial pace. If you’ve heard this one and want more in the same vein, the next natural choice would be Sufjan Stevens’ impressive 5-disc Songs For Christmas.
Various Artists The Ultimate Motown Christmas Collection
There are hits and misses here, and although this is by no means the best of Motown, the hits make it well worth it.
At least two of Marvin Gaye’s contributions on this album point in the direction of his remarkable score to Troubleman; Smokey Robinson sings schmaltz like he means it, and the over-talented, under-loved kids of the Jackson 5 sound totally sold on this whole “Christmas” deal.
The tracks that are great in this collection are amazing. The ones that aren’t will make you squirm.
Elvis Presley – Elvis’ Christmas Album
This is one of those albums that’s among the best sellers in the history of its genre for a good reason. Presley was at his peak when he made this LP in 1957, and if he was ever any good, so is this collection of songs.
Johnny Mathis – Merry Christmas
This is easily the most unabashedly corny album on our list. We could have picked any of the classic Christmas crooner albums from Bing Crosby, Burl Ives, Ella Fitzgerald or Nat King Cole, and they would have done equally well. And like any of those singers, Mathis’ perkiest holiday moments can be a little off-putting to anything other than a family audience.
But for all his cheese, Mathis shows real artistry at times. Before the days of fancy studio production techniques, if singers wanted effects, they had to create them themselves. To that end, Mathis uses sustain and vibrato like Fleet Foxes use reverb. If you’re not worried about looking cool, Merry Christmas is arranged, produced, and delivered as well any comparable album.
The Ventures – The Ventures Christmas Album
Sounds exactly how you’d expect. Totally worth it, even if just for the talk-box guitar on the chorus of “Sliver Bells”.
2018 Update:
Jherek Bischoff – Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire Walk with Me
Any fan of Twin Peaks will love this one. It features 6 holiday classics remade in the style of Angelo Badalamenti’s iconic theme for this cult classic series. It’s worth at least one listen for the novelty factor. It’s worth five or ten more because it’s actually really good.
Did we miss any of your favorites? Tell us about them in the comments below.
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